Dan Bialek Loves Kittens

Earlier today I left the Best Buy store in West Hollywood holding a video game that I probably couldn’t afford paid for with a credit card that I definitely won’t be able to pay off anytime soon.

As I walked up the machine that validates your ticket for the parking garage I noticed that someone had left their brand new XBox 360 250GB on top of the machine. I looked around and there was nobody anywhere nearby that I could see. So, I picked it up and carried it back up the escalator and into the Best Buy store.

I handed it to the dude working behind the greeter stand at the front door and told him what had happened.

He looked at me and said, “You’re so dumb. Why wouldn’t you just take it? Why would you do this?”

No bullshit. That’s exactly what he said.

I answered, “I don’t know. Maybe because I don’t believe in god and I’m pretty sure that I’m going to burn in hell but I still want to be a good person. Fuck, I don’t know. It’s somebody else’s pretty nice $300 thing that isn’t mine and they’ll probably be really sad when they realize that they’ve lost it.”

The guy hemmed and hawed a little and then said, “Well, we can leave it up here and if nobody comes back for it we can… Wait, you don’t have a receipt for it, so…”

I stopped him right there.

It was pretty obvious that this dipshit was going to put the console under the counter until the end of his $8-an-hour shift and then take it home and keep it for himself.

At that point I didn’t even care. I had done the right thing and the universe had laughed in my face and called me a moron for doing so.

I left the store and drove home feeling like a complete piece of shit for doing what I am still certain was the right thing.

Goddamnit.