The greatest blog in the history of everything that has ever happened.
Last night I had the night off so I went down to my friends’ Josh Haness & Josh Weinstein’s standup show to take some pictures of the comedians.
The lineup was really, really good. And to make things even better, one of the famous people on the show couldn’t make it, so I also got to go up and do a set, too.
Here are some pictures from the show.
Wow, this lady should receive a state-mandated hysterectomy.
Last night I performed at a standup show in Santa Monica. And because I am a completely selfless and beautifully enlightened human being I hosted the show for my friend Ed Galvez so he could do a normal set instead of having to host it himself.
Not only that but I also shot photos of all the comics on the show while they were on stage.
I don’t know what got into me. It’s like for 93 minutes I became the Mother Fucking Teresa of comedy shows.
The good news is that by the time I arrived back at home I’d returned to being a total misanthrope. Thank god.
Here are some of the photos from the show. Enjoy.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/12/17/origami.gift/index.html
But I’m pretty sure it isn’t a GODDAMN FRONT-AND-CENTER OF THE HOMEPAGE NEWS STORY.
Seriously, CNN.com, up yours.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/worklife/12/16/cb.worst.phrases.work/index.html
CNN.com just posted this bullshit article about the Ten Worst Phrases To Use In The Office.
Here’s their list:
1. Pick your brain
2. Throw it against the wall and see what sticks
3. Sweat equity
4. It’s not rocket science
5. The ball’s in your court
6. Drill down
7. I, personally
8. Quite unique
9. Past history
10. Urgent
I’d like like to note that none of these phrases are really that bad or offensive in anyway.
I am upset that the lazy yellow journalists at CNN neglected to include any expressions that could truly get you into hot water around the water cooler.
Here’s my list of the Ten Actual Worst Phrases To Use At The Office:
1. I’d like to pick your brain with my boner
2. I’ll pay for half of your abortion if afterward we can throw it against the wall and see what sticks
3. Any of you queers heading over to that new gay bar, Sweat Equity, after work
4. Reverse cowboy on top of the copier machine is a tricky move to pull off, but it’s not rocket science
5. The ball’s in your court, but I wish both of mine were on your chin
6. Hey, put that drill down and come over here and jerk me off behind this cement mixer
7. I, personally think that the UPS delivery guy has very nice, suckable tits
8. Cindy in accounting’s vagina’s smell is quite unique; it’s a mix between bacon and tapioca pudding
9. Don’t let my past history of peeing in your coffee every morning keep you from adding me on Facebook
10. I’m in urgent need of nobody finding out that I just took a runny shit on the break room floor
CNN gets it wrong yet again.
