Dan Bialek Loves Kittens

Matt Peters, Bennie Arthur and Chad Fogland are comedian friends of mine who also write, produce and star in funny online videos.

Here’s their latest series: Lone Wolf

It is as hilarious as it is retarded.

Lone Wolf Episode #1:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cE7rLYN6sQA

Lone Wolf Episode #2:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWQwWdJ7WiU

Lone Wolf Episode #3:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThlCBukN9Mk

Lone Wolf Episode #4:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqaeV2H0F9I

Lone Wolf Episode #5:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3vcfjiHu_M

Lone Wolf Episode #6:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk1YwFTQGpk

Please be sure to leave 5-star ratings and a comment. These guys put a lot of work into these.

This afternoon I was called in to audition for a role in an industrial film about woodmill safety. I was instructed to learn lines and to come dressed as a lumberjack. So, I did.

When I arrived at the audition I was told I would instead be reading for the role of “office manager” instead.

So, I did. Dressed as a lumberjack.

An hour later in Hollywood I was asked to read for the part of the Mr. Peanut mascot who gets into a sword fight on a fishing boat and dances. So, I did.

I did poorly on both auditions. I know the economy is awful and that I should be grateful for every bit of work that comes my way. However, I just couldn’t rise to the occasion and convince myself that I gave a shit about portraying Paul Bunyan in a cubicle or Mr. Peanut teaching Somali pirates how to tango.

You win today, Lady Show Business, you win today.

A guy would have taken the “no” as a definitive answer and moved on.

Awful female comics will hound you with questions that they really don’t want to hear the answers to until the sun burns out.

This is the response I didn’t send but should have:

Because you are fucking terrible. Please fuck off.

Don’t worry. I’m not a misogynist. I think most male comedians are douchebags, too. Just in their own unique special ways.

In other news, one hundred ugly people died tonight frigthened and alone in places without nice beaches.

Shania Twain totally accepted my friend request.

So now I don’t have to feel weird about getting updates about new photos that she posts to her Facebook profile.

Whew! Crisis averted.