Dan Bialek Loves Kittens

There are several popular YouTube “Ask A…” video series including:

- Ask A Ninja
- Ask A Gay Man
- Ask A Pirate

The following contains the Top Ten Least Popular “Ask A…” video series on YouTube.

Have more questions?

Ask A Gay Ninja Pirate.

I have come to the the following conclusion…

There is not a single relevant, worthwhile or even not-semi-retarded video clip on the entire YouTube website.

When we end up killing ourselves off as a species it will serve as the perfect cyber-testament to what moronic, narcissistic, time-wasting jagoffs we really were in case space men ever visit this planet.

Watch this:

And then go here and watch these.

Not in a million years would I be able to figure out how to get smoke and lightning effects into my vlogs.

Crespo has beaten me yet again.

I am so depressed.

In an attempt to fulfill my goal of doing one video blog a day for an entire week here is today’s.

It covers such intriguing topics as:

- This afternoon’s maladroit surf excursion to the Venice Breakwater
- Performing standup comedy tonight in a near-empty room for a near-crazy cougar woman
- Listening to my neighbor berate his life partner in lieu of getting it on with my own

I realize that I look drugged up and cracked out in these clips. I assure you, however, that I am not. It’s just that I record these things at 3am and everyone looks kind of f-ed up and heroiny at that time of night.

Of course I’m supposed to be working on something else right now. But, instead I recorded another video blog.

Wow, I really don’t want to succeed at anything do I.

Anyway, this vlog covers such topics as:

- My selections in Internet-pirated music this week
- My justification for firing my shrink
- A discussion of Last Comic Standing with an industry insider
- Today’s MySpace/YouTube prank that I decided not to follow through on because it was too mean

Here it is:

I’ve got to stop recording these things so late at night. It looks like I’ve been up for the past 3 days blowing sailors down near the docks. I should really look into getting a little concealer or foundation going on under my eyes.

And then when I do that I can also start looking into blowing sailors down by the docks.

I can’t win.