Dan Bialek Loves Kittens

I miss posting stuff to this blog.

Tumblr blogs are easier to publish stuff to and maintain. But the entries are also a lot shorter and less meaningful as a whole.

I really liked posting longer, mostly text-based entries about my life and what has been going on.

However, I’ve been really busy lately working and trying to find work. The one bad thing about autobiographical blogs and blog entries is that I cannot resist the temptation to write about people and situations that piss me off but that are also probably best kept to myself.

I have some gay industry standup showcase tomorrow night. Maybe after it’s over I’ll be inspired to sit down and write something about all the crap that’s being bothering me for the past fews months.

Then three people can read about it. And another 11 can not read it but think that I’m an up-my-own-ass, narcissist for posting it.

That’s another problem with blogs. You try and post shit that you think is super important and relevant to the world, but it isn’t. It’s only important to you. Nobody else really cares.

Unless you’re Rosie O’Donnell or John Mayer.

How sad and fucked is that.

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Feb. 9th Tuesday 10pm
King’s Head Pub
Santa Monica, CA

Feb. 12th Friday 11pm
Twelve Shiny Nickels Show
1501 North Gardner
Hollywood, CA
$10, BYOB

Feb. 13th Saturday 11pm
Twelve Shiny Nickels Show
1501 North Gardner
Hollywood, CA
$10, BYOB

Feb. 18th Thursday 8pm
King’s Head Pub
Santa Monica, CA

Feb. 19th Friday 11pm
Twelve Shiny Nickels Show
1501 North Gardner
Hollywood, CA
$10, BYOB

Feb. 20th Saturday 11pm
Twelve Shiny Nickels Show
1501 North Gardner
Hollywood, CA
$10, BYOB

Feb. 26th Friday 11pm
Twelve Shiny Nickels Show
1501 North Gardner
Hollywood, CA
$10, BYOB

Feb. 27th Saturday 11pm
Twelve Shiny Nickels Show
1501 North Gardner
Hollywood, CA
$10, BYOB

Mar. 13th Saturday 11pm
Irvine Improv
Irvine, CA

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Here it is:

http://danisontumblr.tumblr.com

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Last night I had the night off so I went down to my friends’ Josh Haness & Josh Weinstein’s standup show to take some pictures of the comedians.

The lineup was really, really good. And to make things even better, one of the famous people on the show couldn’t make it, so I also got to go up and do a set, too.

Here are some pictures from the show.

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Wow, this lady should receive a state-mandated hysterectomy.

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Last night I performed at a standup show in Santa Monica. And because I am a completely selfless and beautifully enlightened human being I hosted the show for my friend Ed Galvez so he could do a normal set instead of having to host it himself.

Not only that but I also shot photos of all the comics on the show while they were on stage.

I don’t know what got into me. It’s like for 93 minutes I became the Mother Fucking Teresa of comedy shows.

The good news is that by the time I arrived back at home I’d returned to being a total misanthrope. Thank god.

Here are some of the photos from the show. Enjoy.

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http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/12/17/origami.gift/index.html

But I’m pretty sure it isn’t a GODDAMN FRONT-AND-CENTER OF THE HOMEPAGE NEWS STORY.

Seriously, CNN.com, up yours.

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It’s five bucks and all the beer you can drink/pee.

Wednesday 12/16 at 9pm
The Punk House Standup Comedy Show!!!
Westside Comedy Theater
1323-A 3rd Street Promenade ( In alley Between 3rd & 4th, North of Santa Monica Blvd)

Featuring:
Dan Bialek (12 Shiny Nickels)
Jackie Kashian (Comedy Central presents)
Tess Barker (Comedy Central stage)
Ben Covette (Mickey Mouse Club)
Will Weldon (Hollywood Improv)
Matt Devlin (BBC)
Ellyn Daniels (All over)

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http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/worklife/12/16/cb.worst.phrases.work/index.html

CNN.com just posted this bullshit article about the Ten Worst Phrases To Use In The Office.

Here’s their list:

1. Pick your brain

2. Throw it against the wall and see what sticks

3. Sweat equity

4. It’s not rocket science

5. The ball’s in your court

6. Drill down

7. I, personally

8. Quite unique

9. Past history

10. Urgent

I’d like like to note that none of these phrases are really that bad or offensive in anyway.

I am upset that the lazy yellow journalists at CNN neglected to include any expressions that could truly get you into hot water around the water cooler.

Here’s my list of the Ten Actual Worst Phrases To Use At The Office:

1. I’d like to pick your brain with my boner

2. I’ll pay for half of your abortion if afterward we can throw it against the wall and see what sticks

3. Any of you queers heading over to that new gay bar, Sweat Equity, after work

4. Reverse cowboy on top of the copier machine is a tricky move to pull off, but it’s not rocket science

5. The ball’s in your court, but I wish both of mine were on your chin

6. Hey, put that drill down and come over here and jerk me off behind this cement mixer

7. I, personally think that the UPS delivery guy has very nice, suckable tits

8. Cindy in accounting’s vagina’s smell is quite unique; it’s a mix between bacon and tapioca pudding

9. Don’t let my past history of peeing in your coffee every morning keep you from adding me on Facebook

10. I’m in urgent need of nobody finding out that I just took a runny shit on the break room floor

CNN gets it wrong yet again.

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Sure, he’s kind of let himself go and seems all old and batshit crazy now.

But he was pretty funny in all those Vacation movies and the only watchable part of Caddyshack 2.

Can’t Rupert Murdoch or some other rich person pay off his delinquent $10,000 hotel bill as an early Christmas gift so we can all just get on with our lives?

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